Meltdowns, we all have them, we all get to a point in our week, month or day when we just start feeling overwhelmed, and like it’s all a bit too much. This morning I had an epic meltdown – I felt tired… like the world was against me and like it was all too hard… It is not one thing in particular, but a series of things that led to me feeling like this and as the tears followed I allowed myself to just be with it, to roll with it.
I worked half my day from my bed, with a pot of tea, in my Pj’s and with my laptop. I needed to get work done, and that was how it was going to roll, and you know what that’s Ok.
I’m not ashamed to say that I have meltdowns here and there, I used to get really upset about the meltdown itself and get mad at myself for being weak or not being able to handle life with effortless grace… Now I’ve learnt to embrace them, to see them as kindness tapping me on the shoulder to say “It’s Ok” and somehow that makes it easier to wade through the shit and get out the other side quicker and with less damage to my self-esteem.
Eventually, I moved my work back into the office, had a shower, put some makeup on, and I’m now charging along as usual. Feeling a bit flat still but back at it… And ready to face it all again.
Meltdowns are proof that you are trying, that you are human and that you can’t be superwoman no matter how many things you think you can juggle at one time. Sometimes you just have to say F**K it and have a little pity party… The thing that is good about a pity party and if you let them just flow instead of forcing yourself into a better mood (as long as you don’t stay there too long) they can be motivating to get back on track and they can be somewhat weirdly cathartic.
I always feel like a little girl when I have a meltdown like I’ve lost one of my favourite toys and I’m confused and not too sure what to do about it. You cry, you have a cuddle with your mum and eventually, it all just gets better. Nothing remarkable has to happen for you to start feeling better, you just do.
So here’s to the crappy days, the less than perfect days, the days that are not social media perfect but the days that make us human, real and us.
Find Your Own Light. xx